“2 Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.” http://ref.ly/He2.1 via the Logos Bible Android app.
Recently, I had to make a choice. I had been under the authority of a teacher who had not only drifted from the truth, but diligently muddied his words so few would realize it. At first I saw my mission to be to try and correct the leader and therefore help his followers.
I spoke the truth with boldness and God saved a few. But there was no dissuading the teacher and soon his true beliefs bcame apparent to everyone. Most of his followers were fine with it. But I could nolonger stay and support him.
Oh how I wish that this man would have never strayed. He bought into the lies of satan and the great clouded reason of our culture. What a waste.
How heartbreaking. What a lesson to me to cling to the Word and never drift.
"being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ:"
American Standard Version (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1995), Php 1:6.
The Greek for the phrase "will perfect it until" in the verse above is epiteléō. It carries the idea of something being worked on continually until
perfection.
So I was a sinner. I died to sin when Christ came into my heart.
God now sees me as perfect (holy) and begins the long hard job of making it true. It has already been declared as true by the work Christ did on the cross. God sees it as true in me now because I am covered by the blood of His Son. It is becoming true as I journey with the Spirit toward holiness and become a new creature in my daily walk. It is the "becoming" part that I struggle with. Its called progressive sanctification because I am moving toward holiness. Progressive sanctification says God started to
change me into something perfect when I was born again. But the job is not done
yet. He gives me the Holy Spirit to help me choose to be holy and he does not give
up on me or leave me in my current state because he will complete what he starts
and not give up nor take time off from it.
I often take time off from working on my sanctification. Maybe its because a part of me feels like I do not
deserve good things. Or maybe its just that I feel incapable of being perfect and sin is too alluring
and seems to have such a firm grip on me. I want very much to just magically be holy. But God chooses to roll up his sleeves and work on me rather than instantly make me perfect. Its like a father helping his kid with a school project. God is not the kind of dad that builds the school project himself. Hes the kind of dad that patiently sits with his child as they craft
the project from concept to completion. It is a project I would not do unless He was there guiding me. He teaches me how to accomplish what I envision: a
life honoring to him. As for sin, I still find it alluring. Much like I found mud alluring when I was a child. My mom often told the story of how, when I was about three, my older brother and I wandered out into dirt road in front of my grandparent's house and both of us wound up naked in a mud puddle. My brother's 5 year old mind very logically knew that we would get in trouble if we got our clothes dirty. His solution worked. My mom was so surprised to find us covered in mud while our clothes were neatly folded on the lawn that she did not punish us, aside from making us take an extra long bath.
In my spiritual walk, sometimes I get tired of trying to stay clean. I give up and walk back to the mud hole that Christ plucked me from. I do it for one reason; so I can wallow in sin. Like a kid playing in mud. It is quite fun
at first. It feels good to let go of propriety and sink your hands or feet into the ooey
gooey mud of sin. The problem is that I rarely stop with just my hands or feet, soon I become very dirty, sometimes that's enough to cause me to cry out for cleaning
but often it takes more than that.
Too often I become fully immersed in the mud
until there is not a clean spot on me. In this state, even the simple task of walking becomes labored. As I become aware of my filthy state it no longer feels so good to be muddy. Then I
look at my hands and body and know that my face and hair are caked in muddy
sin. The shock is enough to jolt me back to reality. I
see my sin for what it is and I want out. I crave to be clean and mud free
again. I gave up on being clean. I failed in my sanctification project and now I regret it.
But God NEVER gives up nor does he see me as a failure. He knew
what it would take for me to become fully sanctified long before we started the project together. So he is not surprised
by my foolish and evil behavior. He is there to lift me out of the muck (again), hose me down and
help me get back to work on the project we started together. The project that He will see to completion. Strangely even after so long on the project together when I feel so disappointed by my constant wallowing, Jesus calmly accepts me without disappointment. I cannot disappoint Him because he already knew what I was going to do. He saw my whole life from beginning to end, every victory and every wallowing session. He knew the sins I would commit before I was ever born and before I was ever born he took them all on himself and suffered the consequences of them so that I would not. Yet, even though He sees me as holy because His holiness covers me, He will not stop working on me until He sees holiness complete in me.
Alrighty then. I have not written in quite a little while. That is okay because no one really noticed. That does not make me sad or anything, I am just reminded that the world will go on just fine without me. Certainly the Blogosphere will survive.
So here's what's happened in my world since my last blog. The last real entry of any merit was in July of 2010. Since then the following has happened.
Brent and Becca got married the wedding was cool.
I spent the summer writing, and looking for work and that was okay.
I finally got a job at Apple. Yay!
Apple did not pay so well. Boo!
I got a new job working for XBOX. Yay!
Working for XBOX sounds more fun than it actually was. Sigh.
I was invited to be a Youth Pastor again. Yay!
Its an interim role with a 6 month contract. Cool
In the beginning of May I finally finished my book and published in on Kindel. Super Cool!
I left XBOX and started working for the church in May. Yay
I spent May-August in a state of panic, confusion and joy.
Now it is September and I am settling into my new roll.
So far I have sold over 50 copies of my book. Cool (I won't quit my day job.)
So what have I learned over this time?
I have learned that God is faithful. He has been here with me all the way. It was really hard deciding to leave the position in Wasilla. It was really hared saying good bye. It was hard dealing with financial problems that followed my decision to leave Alaska. I often cried out to God in the wee hours of the night wondering if He he heard me.
He did. He always hears. He always loves me despite my feelings or circumstances. He never left me alone even though I could not see him.
Now today I am working in a church again with some really amazing students. From this side of my darker days I can see that God's hand was working at the time I felt like I was in a pit and could not see the light.
In Psalm 139, David reminds us that there is really no way to escape God's presence.
Psalm 139:7-12
From The Message (MSG)
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
Now I can't wait to see where he is taking me with this new group. I just need to follow his lead.
OK so I found this video (my friend Brian Eberly had a link to it on his blog) and I agree with its description of what the church has been. I even agree with its basic definition of Missional. But I still kinda cringed when I watched it. I had to stop an contemplate what my problem was with the video. Here's the video by the way.
If you watch it you can see that they have done an excellent job. I really think it is a valuable video. So when I begin my rant please don't think I'm one of those old codgers that thinks that everything new is bad and why don't we just stick to the old ways because they are tried and true. That is not what I am all about. I love change. I embrace it. Some say I am addicted to it. Change is not the problem. My fear is that the Post-modern...er um ... Emergent... ah I mean Missional Church movement seeks to replace an incomplete somewhat anemic model with a new incomplete somewhat anemic model. And in order to sell their new model (although Doug Pagitt and others would probably blow a gasket if he heard me accuse the movement of having a model because they all want to be a non-linear no-model kind of movement)they feel compelled to deconstruct, ridicule and devalue everything the church has been in the last 100 years.
My view is simple. A) Missional is not a word in the dictionary. They made it up. B.) They made it up because they want to distance them self from what they call the consumer church, the fundamental church, the modern church and a dozen other terms they have used to describe the past. C.)In order to prove they are different they have disparaged everything the church has done in the past. D.)Therefore they promote a very good idea of training people to go out into the world (just like Jesus did) built on a synical holier than thou foundation of deconstruction.
Frankly it is the same thing that Evangelicals did in the early 20th century when they distanced themselves from mainline denominations. The accusation (among onthers) was that the mainline churches were steeped in an empty social gospel that promoted works over grace. OK so maybe the mainline church, because of its decaying values and straying from the foundational truths of the Bible had become a church that tried to prove thier value though feeding the poor, caring for the homeless and the like. Maybe they were doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. But Evangelicals could not allow themselves to be accused of being like minded with liberal mainliners so they stepped away from the poor. Some might say the did the wrong things for the right reason (though I am not sure that is entirely accurate). Either way they blew it. They made it wrong to serve the poor and focused entirely on reaching the poor through a propositional gospel that lacked the hands and feet that it had in earlier generations.
Now I sound like Pagitt attacking the evangelicals. My point is that we became too unidimensional because we did not want to appear like we were liberal. If this new Missional movement (or whatever we are calling ourselves today) continues on the path they are on they will become just as unidimensional as the Fundamentalist Evangelical church they have tried so hard to distance themselves from. This video is a prime example. It is an awesome depiction of where the church has been and where it needs to go, BUT it leads the viewer to believe that there is only one way to be right. Their way.
I have a couple problems with the Missional model. First the model assumes people going out but never talks about or deals with the fact that eventually people need to be brought to church. I believe they need to be brought into a church where they can belong before they believe. Second the are real big on the "earn the right to share your faith" idea. That means that they are good at washing feet, feeding the poor and even talking about spiritual things like beauty and art an stuff. I know one Missional guy who had a great exposure in the community with non believers and in 4 years never told any of them how to become a Christian. Consequently none of them did. So the video touts the ideals of sending people out into the community to be the church but never deals with who to actually do the work the church is called to do - make disciples.
So what would I have done different? Simple, make the arrows two way.
The modern church has focused on Come and See ministries (Just like Jesus did) and Missionals want to focus on Go and Tell ministries (Just like Jesus did) Both are right. Both are excellent ideas. I contend that both are dependent on each other. A healthy church is multidimensional in their approach to ministry. Frankly churches like this have been around for a long time. I have personally been a part of churches that have continually trained members to Go and Tell and at the same time have an excellent Come and See ministry.
My own model (the inclusive model) is all about training students to Go and Tell while having a place that students can invite their friends to Come and See. In student ministry it is very important to have both functioning together. Some students will eventually get to the point where the are good at Go and Tell. In the mean time they can invite friends to come and see. If I just sent students out into the world to be the church in the neighborhoods or on their campus then I begin to worry. I worry thinking about me being the church in my neighborhood. What if I am the only church they ever know. I cringe at the thought. But If I go and tell my friends and they listen and want to hear or see more then I can bring them to a come and see ministry.
That is the balance I want to see. A video that, I think better shows what I am trying to say is this one:
But even in this video I find it lacks a clear Come and See element
OK so I admit that I have been in a rut lately. I can't tell you when the last time was that I looked at the future and felt positive. Probably when I was moving to Alaska.
But for the last several months I look ahead and sigh heavily. It drives Cathy crazy. I found this cool article on Crosswalk.com (Did I Make the Right Decision?, Christian Careers, Jobs, Employment) today and it really helped. In a way it just says "STOP WHINING" (which is always useful to hear) so maybe I should listen. I need to stop acting like God is going to give me a road map with my path marked in red for me. It just doesn't work that way.
To me the most important part of the article said:
Life is short for all of us, and if any of us had a chance to do it over again, we would probably make some decisions differently. I know I would. But that choice is not given to us. Too much introspection about the past makes us tentative about the future.
I like that. "Too much introspection about the past makes us tentative about the future."
Seems kind of odd doesn't it? It feels like only yesterday that he was the star of Different Strokes. His death makes me feel old.
In fact every time someone famous dies I feel just a little older. Not to mention every time I see an actor get older I feel sad. I saw Joe Pesci in a movie the other day. The movie was made a couple years ago and Joe looked really old (balding, gray, wrinkled - the whole nine yards). That made me feel old. Seeing Harrison Ford as the old Indiana Jones or Sylvester Stalone as the ancient Rocky and ancient Rambo was really sad.
The truth is it makes me sad because it reminds me that I am not getting any younger myself. I want very much to live forever. My preference would be to be forever young. I know that it ain't going to happen. One day I will be old and decrepit like Sly then I will be dead like Coleman. The important thing is to acknowledge these as natural feelings but to remember that my life does not end when I die. I know that death is the threshold into eternity. We will all one day be raised from death. For those who know and love Jesus and have accepted Him as their lord and savior we will arise to a life of joy in the presence of God. For the rest a life of sorrow and separation from God. So when I see someone like Gary Coleman die my concern should not be for myself but for them. My heart breaks to think that anyone would die apart from Christ.
I do not know if Gary knew Jesus. I know he had a hard life - we all do. I know he must have had opportunities to receive Gods gift through Jesus - we all do. I just don't know if he ever accepted the gift. So now I reflect on my own life and say I want to continue to offer this gift to everyone I know so that when they die I will not have to wonder where they will end up.
Who knows maybe one day I will have the privilege of leading Sly or Harrison into God's kingdom. Some one needs to why not me.
Life is short so I shouldn't let it go to my head. I should let it go to my heart and be vigilant about why I am here.
Isn’t the universe cool. Well in this case … hot. But, these images or our sun just remind me how impossible it is that we all exist. When forces like this exist in the universe the fact that we have not all been destroyed proves that God exists. What could frail humanity ever do against such forces? Nothing! But, with God, the maker and creator of all things, on our side we exist and are safe.
8So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, 9who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, 10but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
Undeserved Calling I have often thought about the fact that I have received "undeserved grace" when God saved me through the work of Christ. It is a major theme in scripture and a truth that I am greatful for. But just now I noticed the paring of call with salvation. "...has saved us and called us." Now I am handicapped by my lack of training in greek and I lack the greek tools I normally use but when I read it here I can't help but wonder if the saving and calling are both tied to "... a holy life." Did Christ die for us so that we would be saved only or did he die for us so that we would live holy lives.
I must admit that I am the first to stand up and say that sactification is something that should not be shackled to justification. That is that our salvation (justification) is not dependenta on the way that we live (sanctification). I believe that when a believer opens his heart to Christ salvation is complete - they are fully justified. Sanctification on the other hand is a little more complicated. On one hand a believer who opens his heart is also fully sanctified - but not yet. Sanctification is one of the hardest things for we mortals (who are stuck in time and space) to understand. From God's perspective I am sure that it is simple. We are fully sactified to God because He is outside of time and space and we are in his presence as a holy offering - part of the bride of Christ - now and always.
It is true that God knew us while we were still sinners. It is also true that God will know us when we are fully sanctified. But to God the past and future tense have no meaning. He is present in the past. He is present now. He is present in the future. This is mind blowing to me. I hope that one day I will fully comprehend it.
So the best way to describe it is that when a believer asked Christ into his heart. He both became holy in god's eyes (by barrowing or putting on Christ's holiness) and he began to become holy. The second example is often referred to as progressive sanctification. It means that in this life from the time that I ask Christ into my heart until the day I die I am moving toward holiness - my holiness. This is possible becasue once I accept Christ, for the first time in my life I am able not to sin. (Augustine showed that Adam was able to sin, fallen man is not able not to sin, Christians are able to not sin and one day we - as Christians - will not able to sin.)
So back to the verse today. God "has saved us and called us to a holy life." Often I have under emphasized the holy life part. My reason has been that one day I will be there. My holiness take will be totally full. It will not be in this life but in the life to come. No matter how empty my holiness tank is now, it will be filled up when I stand before Christ.
So why bother with holiness?
Because God calls us to a holy life. Not holiness. Not sactification. But a holy life. This life now. I am to live a life that is set apart for Him. A life that is honoring to him. A life that does not make people look at me and say "He's a Christian? Wow who knew."
This is my new motivation. And my prize when I live a holy life? I get to suffer for the Gospel.
That sounds OK to me.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Hello Monday. Why did you have to bring the extra gravity and throw water in my face to wake me?
All I need to do is write a little something each day. How hard is that?
I think I make hard because for some reason I think I need to have something important to say before I write. That would be really cool but the internet is full of blogs of people just writing about common everyday stuff. So here I am writing something not very important about nothing just so I have a blog entry.It could be worse. I could just write about the weather.
BTW its a beautiful day outside. Sunny, somewhat warm and... uhhh... yeah.
I know that I said the official story was that Cathy broke her ankle in a bar fight. The truth is she got tangled up in and tripped over a chair. I realize that sounds kind of boring. We got that bar fight cover story idea from the radiologist at the hospital. It sounds very exciting but I fear that it may have hurt Cathy's reputation. I mean what kind of a person gets in a bar fight?
I remember as a kid every good TV show and movie had a bar fight because fighting was in and bar fights were cool. If I had said that Cathy broke her ankle in a a bar fight and this was the 60's or 7o's then everyone would have said "Of course she did. How else would a person break her ankle?"
Now-a-days (I have always wanted to say that) bar fights just aren't that common so the automatic response is. "Ewww! What kind of person would start a bar fight?" So I think that people may have gotten the wrong picture of Cathy. Therefore, I must report that she is not the kind of person that would hang out in bars either waiting for or starting bar fights. Sad to say she is the type that would simply get tangled in a chair and break her ankle in three places.
If you want to read the full account then check out Cathy's story. She tells it way better and includes all the gory details in her blog at http://insidecat.blogspot.com/.
What a summer it has been. I know its not over yet but it is getting closer. For my friends in Alaska it is over actually. I think they started school this week.
Usually I try to blog about something introspective or deep (as deep as my shallow mind can go) and all summer long I just wasn't feeling it. So rather than forcing something deep or remaining silent I think I just want to write an update.
On May 19th I resigned as Youth Pastor of Wasilla Bible Church and within a month Cathy and I were on the road to Oregon. I am so thankful for all of our friends who helped us as we packed and loaded the truck and headed out. I will never forget the last hour in Wasilla. I had mentioned to Patsy Inks that we were going to get a Crazy Moose sandwich on the way out of town. When we got there all the Inks (except Paul) were there waiting for us to have lunch with us and say good bye one last time. I really appreciated that.
The trip from there was long. That night we camped in Fairbanks. The next morning we decided to see how far up the Dalton Highway we could get and made it all the way to our goal - The Arctic Circle. There were very few people around and I didn't have anything that would repel or kill a bear so we decided to sleep in our car. BIG Mistake. We should have put up the tent. The tent would have been far more effective at keeping out the mosquittos. The car was hot and stuffy (it was about 73 at the arctic circle that day) so we needed to crack the windows. That meant that a horde of mosquittos laid siege to our car. Many got in. It was a sleepless night and the sun barely went down (it was two nights before solstice). The next day we traveled to delta junction to begin our trip down the Al-can.
We actually spent 8 days on the Al-can. We took our time as saw some really amazing scenery. We say 13 black bear, 3 elk, 4 moose, 15 bunnies, 31 Bison, 5 bald eagles, 1 linx and 3 brown bears (aka grizzly to non-Alaskans). The brown bears were a small family out for a stroll along the highway. Just a mom and her two cubs. Probably the most dangerous situation a person can face in the wild. We stayed in the car. We didn't see what happened to the nice stupid lady who got out of her car to take pictures of them.
We ended our trip wit a day in Victoria BC. Then we dashed through Washington in a couple hours and made it home in the middle of the night where our son greeted us with bleary eyes. It was really strange being back in Oregon at first. This was the place I had left and did not expect to move back to any time soon. Yet here we are living in the same house we left a year ago. Things have changed. I have made a ton of friends in Alaska who I miss very much.
I have spent the summer working with (or for) Cathy getting the yard and house in shape. We have replaced the back door of the house, dug up a couple garden beds, hauled dirt, hauled wood chips and pulled up hundreds of nasty black berry bushes that were taking over the yard. I have spent several hundred hours looking for work with very little success.
I have managed to land a couple temporary jobs. I am doing some occasional contract work for a translation company. I'm not translating just doing the desk top publishing part of the process. I start Monday on a job that should take a couple weeks at the company where my son Chris works. I will be helping them with a huge inventory project.
Tomorrow we are throwing my son a HUGE birthday bash. He is turning 21 on Monday so we are inviting all of his friends over to hang out, play some games, drink lots of root beer, and celebrate his special day. I am excited.
God continues to meet all of our needs. I know that he is with us. I have been reminded that this life which I call mine isn't really. It isn't my life it belongs to Christ and therefore it is not really about me. I think I begin to turn toward depression and despair every time I stray into thinking that this is my life and its all about me. But if I simply relinquish ownership to Jesus and let him live through me every change is an opportunity, every trial is doable, every disappointment has some deeper meaning and every heartache is consoled by a savior who loves me. That is pretty cool. So these days I am trying to live by my life verse.
Galatians 2:20. -- “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (New American Standard Bible : 1995 Update)
Thursday night: made it to the artic circle by 7:30. Spent the might with zombie mosquitos. Made it back to fairbanks on friday at 1:00.
Thursday morning: Slept in till 8:30. Left fairbanks at 11:30 headed for the artic circle. Stopped to eat at the hot spot. Good burgers. Sixty miles to go!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Arrived at Fairbanks at 8:00. Dined on leftovers. Thinking about going to the artic circle in the morning since we are in the neighborhood.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Made it to Denali National Park by 6:00. The run is shining up here. W00t
Left Wasilla at 2:15. We love you all and will miss you very much.
Cathy's passport arrives on wednesday morning. We will leave Wasilla around noon. What a blessing it has been to serve here.
If the Christian life is a journey then the road we travel is often hard and always uniquely our own. Cathy and I will be traveling the Alcan highway this month as we make our way from our home in Wasilla to our home in Beaverton. The highway is legendary. In the "old days" it was quite an adventure to travel the thousands of miles of gravel and dirt and sometimes pavement. Now the gravel and dirt are mostly gone but it is still an adventure. Cut right through the heart of some pretty rough and very remote wilderness it can still be dangerous. Even so, we are really looking forward to the journey.
But, I don't think that the road we travel as Christians is like the Alcan. For one thing, even though the Alcan is very remote, somtimes a sturggle and sometimes thrilling, it is still a highway. Someone has blazed the trail for us. In the case of the Alcan it was a couple of guys on motorcycles in the 30's. Someone followed them and planned the path of the road. Workers followed and cleared a very rough access road then more workers came with bigger equipment and widened and smoothed out the dirt path. Finally, over the past 40 years, others have come and paved the road making it usable by thousands. And every year workers move up and down the highway repairing cracks, potholes and frost heaves.
All these people have worked so hard just so Cathy and I will have a realitively safe journey through the rugged wildeness (awfully nice of them.)
But the journey we are on as Christians is much more...private and...unique. The path is ours alone and although we may meet others along the way and even journey side by side with others from time to time we can honestly say that noone has journied the road before. Actually one person has. Jesus.
Psalm 139 paints a beautiful picture of what it is like to walk with Jesus. I know that ususally you think of Psalm 23 when you think of the spiritaul journey and that is also a very lovely picture of the journey, but 139 shows how we are not alone on this journey. It talks about how our God goes before us and leads us down the path. At first the picture is of God as a scout in the distance makeing sure the road is safe, then it shifts and shows that he is right in front of us protecting us. At the same time he is right behind us protecting us and moving us forward. We are hemmed in on all sides by God. He not only choose the road for us but he also had cleared it so we can see the path. And just in case we are worried about having to journey alone, Psalm 139 also paints a picture of the impossibility of ever getting away from God even if we try to stray.
The path God leads us down leads through a vast array of landscapes. Lush green meadows, dark valleys, high glorius vistas and deserts so dry we'd like to fall over and die. Yet we do not walk alone so even if we fall we are gently picked up and put on our feet again. And when we would like to stop and just rest a little bit longer in lush and beautiful places Jesus gently urges us forward, often toward harship, dissapointment and loss. I beleive he wants us to find the beauty in those places as well. The beauty is there, if only in the loving eyes or our Savior who sometimes has to carry us for a stretch.
My own journey has recently led to a hairpin turn (Cathy's word for it). At first I was confused by it and then I was even heart sick. Why would God lead me to a place with so much beauty and potential only to turn around and head back. Yet as time passes and I prepare to set out down the Alcan, the place where this hairpin curve leades, I am hopeful. At the very least I know that I will not be alone. My saviour is at my side. My defendor is behind me, my Lord is before me leading me on.
Ironically my last talk to the students at Wasilla Bible Church was about the journey. I wanted them to know that the road ahead was amazing and hard. I wanted them know, before some of them set out on thier own, that the journey was grim and beatiful; difficult and easy; painful and a blessing. I can't help but think how appropriate that message is to me now. I never want to turn away from the path that God has set me on. I never want to give up or stop or settle for an easier path. The path that God is leading me on is narrow and uniquily mine.
My prayer is that you will see our saviour leading you down your path. Perhaps we will run into each other along the way... just around the bend in the road.
I usually like change. In fact I am what some might call a "change agent." I love looking to the future as I evaluate the present. I ask "Are things now as good as they can be someday?" I want to reach a brighter tomorrow even if it means making tough changes that seemingly turn a blind eye to the past. I realize that I am fairly rare in this view point. Most people hate change and work hard to protect the past. They look to the past as they evaluate the present and ask "Are things now as good as they used to be?"
But when change involves people it often involves pain and sorrow. That is what makes change so hard. Right now I am going through a huge and painful change that involves people that I care a great deal about. My heart is breaking because I now see that the bright tomorrow I was reaching for with them will never be. Instead, I will move on to something else and they will be guided by other hands.
Frankly, it is this kind of change that I could do without. No one likes this kind of change. It feels like a death or a divorce and the grieving process is just as real as if it were a death or divorce. So far I have gone through shock, sadness, anger, bargaining and just a twinge of denial. I know all this is healthy but that does not make any of it any more bearable. The truth is I hate this change from the core of my being.
So I am forced to move forward with my head down and my heart hurting as I plod into a future that is dark and foggy. I would be entirely lost if it were not for the hand that I cling to. The hand of my Lord. The one who called me. The one who brought me here in the first place and will never leave me or fore sake me; Jesus Christ. Through him I will get through this impossible time. With his help I will mange to emerge from the fog at the proper time and see the bright future once again.
This darkness will pass. And even if I let go of my savior's hand I will still get through it because he will never let go of my hand.
Romans 8:38-39 -- For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Okay, so I have been trying to be a good blogger for a couple of years now. I like blogging. It feels good to know that I get to write a bunch of stuff the no one reads even though it is out there in the public. I find it hard to be consistant about it though. Actually that is not surprising being that consistancey has never been one of my strong suits.
I hate the rut of consistancy. It feels monotonous and boring. I can remember, back in 1976, when I first moved to Oregon with my family we lived with my Great Uncle for several months. Every night he would watch a little TV after dinner and then at precisely 10:00 he would announce that it was time to go to bed. Then he would proceed to close up the house and march us all off to bed. Even my Mom. It was really strange to me. He never strayed from it. Not on weekends. Not on holidays. Not ever.
It was a bit of a rut.
So since that time I have avoided ruts in my life. Until it dawned on me recently that I have indeed fallen into a rather large rut -- the rut of being consistantly inconsistant.
Okay, so I have never denied my complete and utter geekness. The fact that culture seems to be racing into the future so fast that High School students have no idea who James T. Kirk is, has been a major downer for me.
But now the new movie set to release in May 2009 should welcome yet another generation into the geeky universe we call Star Trek. I am pumped. I am elated. The trailer looks good.
I remember the first time I played Pong on a friends TV set. I was amazed that they figured out how to make it work on a TV. I also was amazed at how bad I was at the game. The little paddle controller just didn't do it for me. My frustration caused me to think of at least a hundred different things that could be done to improve the game experience. In the end I realized that what I was picturing a real game of tennis. So I picked up a racket and went out to play. I was really bad at real tennis too but at least I got some fresh air.
Over the years games have gotten more and more real. I remember the first time I jumped into the cockpit of an x-wing fighter and destroyed the death star (well, at least I tried to). The vector graphics were kind of lame. A wire frame death star just didn't do it for me. Again I found myself imagining at least a hundred different things that would make the game better. In the end I realized that I was imagining flying a real x-wing and blowing up a real death star.
But x-wings and death stars are not real so I couldn't just go jump in one and save the galaxy. Sadly I had to accept that the hard plastic chair connected to the vector graphics display was the closest I was ever going to get to my dream.
Over the years Star Wars games got better and better. When Episode I came out, so did an arcade game that allowed you to not only pilot an x-wing but also duel with a light saber. The graphics were way better thanks to the advent of 3D graphics. That was the ultimate fun for me. I could slip out of the dull dreary real world and into a galaxy far far away as a Jedi Master. Then I played the game and quickly realized that I was as bad with a light saber as I was with a paddle controller on an Atari.
I began to sense a pattern. Why was I so bad at every video game I played? Why were the controllers so hard to use? I realized that the problem wasn't all mine. Sure I have zero hand eye coordination but the real problem was with the controllers themselves. You see when I play a video game I expect the controller to be an extension of myself. If I am playing a driving game then of course I must turn the controller (and my whole body) in the direction that I want to turn. I know that all I really need to do is push the stupid button or move the useless thumb stick but my mind does not associate those simple finger movements with what is happening on the screen (and therefore in my imagination). My mind wants (and therefore tells) my whole body to move out of the way of the flying piece of asteroid coming at me.
So you can imagine my joy when I heard about the Wii. I know that some of my gaming friends are shaking their heads right now. They tell me that the Wii is not a real game machine. To them, and most of them have grown up with video games, there is no problem with the old style controllers. They have excellent hand eye coordination and they know not only when to push the "X" button, but where the stupid "X" button is. And they never forget where it it is. They never get it confused with the "B" button.
Fine, they can have their stupid controllers. I can't play that way. I am slow. My eyes and hands do not communicate so well and on top of that I am just a bit dyslexic. That is why every time my friends and I get together and play Halo, I am usually the one with not only the lowest score but the one who earns the most laughs in a game. How many times have I heard "Rick! What are you doing?" from teammates that I am supposed to be helping.
So now there is a game machine for me. I spent many long dark hours in line to get the Wii for my family this past Christmas and (if I can get home before my kids do) I intend to log many hours playing tennis the way it was meant to be played--in my living room. Pong is so far removed from tennis on the Wii that I cannot even begin to describe it. I feel like I am playing real tennis (except I actually hit the ball on the Wii).
But Today, my joy is now complete! Not only has tennis caught up to my imagination so has being a Jedi. Introducing (fanfare please) "Camy Pro Gear Wii Light Swords!" Thats right someone has made a light saber add on for the Wii remote (check out the link IGN: Camy Pro Gear Wii Light Swords Preview). It is set to release at the same time that "the highly anticipated" Star Wars: The Force Unleashed game premiers on the Wii.
Can you imagine! Now I too can be a Jedi master and save the galaxy. All in the comfort of my living room. (I suggest you all stand back-I can't be held responsible for what happens when I start waving the light saber around.)
As a kid I was always looking for new things to try. New adventures seemed to be just around every corner. I remember in the 6th Grade my friend Edwin and I were bored with the incessant snowball fights on the playground. As we contemplated coming up with something new we saw another kid named Shane go sliding by. Shane was one of the meaner kids in school. I treated Shane with respect and hoped that he would just ignore me. Life was better when the mean kids ignored you. Edwin and I watched him go sliding by wearing his slick shoes headed for three 4th graders who were nervously lying in middle of the icy sidewalk. I was about to warn the kids to get out of the way when Shane jumped over them (just barely clearing them) and kept sliding. Curiosity struck me as to why anyone in their right mind would lay in the middle of an ice covered sidewalk and let someone like Shane jump you. Shane saw me staring and glared at me. I recovered by clapping for him. Edwin joined me. "Good job." We said, "Good job jumping those 4th graders."
Shane smiled and grabbed a third grader and had him lay down next to the 4th graders. Then he carefully made his way up the hill again in the snow bank. Part of me was jealous. I wanted to jump the kids too. This was after all, Butte Montana home of Evel Kenievel the worlds most famous daredevil. Every boy in Butte had a passion for jumping things. It was then that Edwin pointed out to Shane that he had just barely cleared the three 4th graders. There was no way he was going to make it over 4 kids. Shane glared at him. Edwin explained it was all about the need for more speed. I will never forget Shane's grin as he conscripted Edwin and myself to serve as horses to pull him so he would get enough speed. Of course there was no arguing with Shane. Mean kids don't argue fairly.
I was nervous our first run. Edwin and I would ran as fast as we could down the hill with Shane holding on to our coats. We broke in opposite directions when we were a foot away from the kids on the ground. It worked flawlessly and Shane sailed through the air and landed several feet beyond the kids just as the recess bell rang. It was high fives all around and lots of big thanks from the kids on the ground.
That afternoon Shane came looking for us and once again we were the horses and he was the jumper. This time it was 5 kids who were drafted into service and number 5 was white as a ghost and almost in tears. Shane made 5 with ease and over the next few days he kept increasing his record and kids from all over the playground came to watch the spectacle. Edwin and I were almost as famous as Shane. We gained the respect and admiration of everyone in school. We had two jobs 1) pull Shane and 2) keep the crowds back so Shane could concentrate before a jump. I also helped recruit kids to distract the playground lady so that she was always somewhere else when we were ready for the jump.
I will never forget the last jump Shane made -- 14 kids. That is the exact number of busses that Evel had attempted and missed. I only know that because Shane pulled Edwin and I aside just before the jump and mentioned it to us. He told us to pull as hard and as fast as we could. We exchanged high fives and the stage was set for Shane to go down in history. The crowd cheered us on. We raced ahead. Our timing was perfect and Shane was slingshotted over the kids; most of them anyway.
I thought he was going to make it. It looked clean but Shane came out of his tuck just a little early and his heels came crashing down on number 14 knocking the wind out of the kid and sending Shane hurtling head over heels to the icy pavement. Edwin and I ran to Shane. He was shaken up but ok. The other kid was winded but he was ok too. What wasn't ok was that the kids I had drafted into keeping the playground lady occupied had failed. Suddenly there she was towering over number 14 and glaring at Shane, Edwin and me. Needless to say Shane never jumped again and every day until the snow melted the playground lady watched the three of us like a hawk.
After that things were different. Shane wasn't mean to me anymore and we became good friends. I would have spent the rest of 6th grade avoiding him like always if we had not shared the camaraderie of working together as a team. Have you ever been a part of a team like that. A team that is passionate about reaching a goal. Teamwork is essential for reaching goals and it brings us closer together. I have no idea where Shane or Edwin are today but I will be forever connected to them because for a short period of time we made history on the playground or Webster-Garfield Elementary school. The playground lady may have kept us from reaching the ultimate goal of jumping 14 kids or more, but no one can take away the closeness we felt as a team.
1I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.[1]
I am confused as to whether the "by" is pointing back to the appeal or forward to the act of presentation. If it is backward to the appeal then it means that Paul is adding emphasis to what is about to come. He is saying “with God and his great mercies as my witness I am (and God is) appealing to you to…” If the "by" is pointing to the act of presentation then he is saying that the act of presentation of our bodies as living sacrifices is somehow tied to the mercies of God. Either it is the power behind our ability to sacrifice or it is the motivating factor that moves us to present our bodies as sacrifice. This needs further pondering. Another thing that stands out to me is that he the plea is for us to present ourselves as living sacrifices. It does not say to sacrifice ourselves. Why?
That one is confusing. I have always thought of it that way. I have always felt like we were to sacrifice ourselves for God and to God. But Paul is saying to present ourselves to God as living sacrifices. I wonder if this is tied to some OT understanding of the sacrifice. Perhaps all the priests ever did was present the sacrifice and it was up to God to accept it. If this is true then the sacrifice was to be perfect without blemish and presented to the priest who prepared for and performed the sacrifice. Maybe that is what is in view here.
My life needs to be free of blemishes so that God is then able to prepare me and perform the actual sacrifice. This is not an act of salvation – that was already done. But, as Paul points out an act of worship.
To the Jews the sacrifice was their worship. All kinds of different fo rms of sacrifice for different things. Wave, wheat, sin, etc. The Atoning sacrifice does not appear to be in view here. We are not to present ourselves as the atoning lamb or the bull or what ever. He does not say that we are to be the wheat or wave offering. Paul does not describe what kind of sacrifice other then that we are living. None of the things that were sacrificed in the OT were living with the exception of Isaac, but I do not think that is what he is saying. He is describing a new thing. Jesus was the atoning sacrifice so there was no longer a need for an annual atoning sacrifice. When we here this great debate about circumcision are we, as my Messianic Jewish friend Hezekiah says, really seeing the debate about the sacrifices.
My friend pointed out that you would think that the Judiazers and the Christians would have argued about the need for continued temple worship that included the sacrifices. The NT is silent on the issue of whether we should sacrifice or not. Why. Hezekiah (my friend not the prophet) says that in truth the debate about circumcision was not about the need to follow the law of Moses but it was about whether Christians, Jewish and Gentile, needed to engage in the Sacrifices that came along with the law. I am not sure if he is right because it seems to me that you cannot separate following the law from the temple sacrifices. They are bound together. If we no longer need to give a wave offering then we should no longer need to be concerned about the part of the law that was tied to the wave offering.
Yet here is Paul saying, (in one of the few places of the NT that talks about a sacrifice other than the atoning work of the cross) that we are to present ourselves as a living offering. This is a new thing.This is fresh. In Hebrews and one of the letters from Peter we learn that Jesus is our Great High priest. Does he as high priest, then take those offerings that we present to him and do the actual ritual to sacrifice them. Are we putting our very lives into his hands so that he can lay them on the altar before God. Since we are living sacrifices is it our lives that is the sweet aroma rising up into the heavens. Is a life that is not presented as a proper living sacrifice (one full of blemishes) then seen as an unpleasant aroma that God rejects?
This is deep stuff.
[1]The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Ro 12:1-2.
Based on a challenge from Bill Hybels at the leadership summit I am going to try to immerse myself into a chapter. Rather than doing it for a full year (something that is insurmountable to me), I will try to do it every day for a week. Bill started with Romans 12. I figure if it was good enough for him it is good enough for me.
August 14, 2007
I read through the passage a couple times. I did not have my journal out so that I was unable to take detailed notes. My recollection is that I was struck by the fact that although it is monumental in topic (the church and spiritual gifts) it begins with a person leading a life that is a living sacrifice. The church is made up of living sacrifices. We are all worthy of death and needed a sacrifice but Jesus did that for us. So we are to remember that with our very life’s. The way we live is to reflect that redemptive act. So if we are doing that then everything about the structure of the church follows.
I am all about helping High School and Middle School students explore their relationship with God. I want them to know who Jesus really is, own their faith, own a ministry and live a life of sacrifice. I believe a student who knows Jesus has the power Change the World.
"You cannot slander human nature; it is worse than words can paint it." -- Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." -- Douglas Adams
"The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were." -- David Brinkley
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My own journey has recently led to a hairpin turn (Cathy's word for it). At first I was confused by it and then I was even heart sick. Why would God lead me to a place with so much beauty and potential only to turn around and head back. Yet as time passes and I prepare to set out down the Alcan, the place where this hairpin curve leades, I am hopeful. At the very least I know that I will not be alone. My saviour is at my side. My defendor is behind me, my Lord is before me leading me on.
and beatiful; difficult and easy; painful and a blessing. I can't help but think how appropriate that message is to me now. I never want to turn away from the path that God has set me on. I never want to give up or stop or settle for an easier path. The path that God is leading me on is narrow and uniquily mine.![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_b.png?x-id=9b5d2e2e-5207-46f8-8d8f-140d68b0a274)
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