Change

I usually like change. In fact I am what some might call a "change agent." I love looking to the future as I evaluate the present. I ask "Are things now as good as they can be someday?" I want to reach a brighter tomorrow even if it means making tough changes that seemingly turn a blind eye to the past. I realize that I am fairly rare in this view point. Most people hate change and work hard to protect the past. They look to the past as they evaluate the present and ask "Are things now as good as they used to be?"

But when change involves people it often involves pain and sorrow. That is what makes change so hard. Right now I am going through a huge and painful change that involves people that I care a great deal about. My heart is breaking because I now see that the bright tomorrow I was reaching for with them will never be. Instead, I will move on to something else and they will be guided by other hands.

Frankly, it is this kind of change that I could do without. No one likes this kind of change. It feels like a death or a divorce and the grieving process is just as real as if it were a death or divorce. So far I have gone through shock, sadness, anger, bargaining and just a twinge of denial. I know all this is healthy but that does not make any of it any more bearable. The truth is I hate this change from the core of my being.

So I am forced to move forward with my head down and my heart hurting as I plod into a future that is dark and foggy. I would be entirely lost if it were not for the hand that I cling to. The hand of my Lord. The one who called me. The one who brought me here in the first place and will never leave me or fore sake me; Jesus Christ. Through him I will get through this impossible time. With his help I will mange to emerge from the fog at the proper time and see the bright future once again.

This darkness will pass. And even if I let go of my savior's hand I will still get through it because he will never let go of my hand.

Romans 8:38-39 -- For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.