Shane's Slick Shoes

As a kid I was always looking for new things to try. New adventures seemed to be just around every corner. I remember in the 6th Grade my friend Edwin and I were bored with the incessant snowball fights on the playground. As we contemplated coming up with something new we saw another kid named Shane go sliding by. Shane was one of the meaner kids in school. I treated Shane with respect and hoped that he would just ignore me. Life was better when the mean kids ignored you. Edwin and I watched him go sliding by wearing his slick shoes headed for three 4th graders who were nervously lying in middle of the icy sidewalk. I was about to warn the kids to get out of the way when Shane jumped over them (just barely clearing them) and kept sliding. Curiosity struck me as to why anyone in their right mind would lay in the middle of an ice covered sidewalk and let someone like Shane jump you. Shane saw me staring and glared at me. I recovered by clapping for him. Edwin joined me. "Good job." We said, "Good job jumping those 4th graders."

Shane smiled and grabbed a third grader and had him lay down next to the 4th graders. Then he carefully made his way up the hill again in the snow bank. Part of me was jealous. I wanted to jump the kids too. This was after all, Butte Montana home of Evel Kenievel the worlds most famous daredevil. Every boy in Butte had a passion for jumping things. It was then that Edwin pointed out to Shane that he had just barely cleared the three 4th graders. There was no way he was going to make it over 4 kids. Shane glared at him. Edwin explained it was all about the need for more speed. I will never forget Shane's grin as he conscripted Edwin and myself to serve as horses to pull him so he would get enough speed. Of course there was no arguing with Shane. Mean kids don't argue fairly.

I was nervous our first run. Edwin and I would ran as fast as we could down the hill with Shane holding on to our coats. We broke in opposite directions when we were a foot away from the kids on the ground. It worked flawlessly and Shane sailed through the air and landed several feet beyond the kids just as the recess bell rang. It was high fives all around and lots of big thanks from the kids on the ground.

That afternoon Shane came looking for us and once again we were the horses and he was the jumper. This time it was 5 kids who were drafted into service and number 5 was white as a ghost and almost in tears. Shane made 5 with ease and over the next few days he kept increasing his record and kids from all over the playground came to watch the spectacle. Edwin and I were almost as famous as Shane. We gained the respect and admiration of everyone in school. We had two jobs 1) pull Shane and 2) keep the crowds back so Shane could concentrate before a jump. I also helped recruit kids to distract the playground lady so that she was always somewhere else when we were ready for the jump.

I will never forget the last jump Shane made -- 14 kids. That is the exact number of busses that Evel had attempted and missed. I only know that because Shane pulled Edwin and I aside just before the jump and mentioned it to us. He told us to pull as hard and as fast as we could. We exchanged high fives and the stage was set for Shane to go down in history. The crowd cheered us on. We raced ahead. Our timing was perfect and Shane was slingshotted over the kids; most of them anyway.

I thought he was going to make it. It looked clean but Shane came out of his tuck just a little early and his heels came crashing down on number 14 knocking the wind out of the kid and sending Shane hurtling head over heels to the icy pavement. Edwin and I ran to Shane. He was shaken up but ok. The other kid was winded but he was ok too. What wasn't ok was that the kids I had drafted into keeping the playground lady occupied had failed. Suddenly there she was towering over number 14 and glaring at Shane, Edwin and me. Needless to say Shane never jumped again and every day until the snow melted the playground lady watched the three of us like a hawk.

After that things were different. Shane wasn't mean to me anymore and we became good friends. I would have spent the rest of 6th grade avoiding him like always if we had not shared the camaraderie of working together as a team. Have you ever been a part of a team like that. A team that is passionate about reaching a goal. Teamwork is essential for reaching goals and it brings us closer together. I have no idea where Shane or Edwin are today but I will be forever connected to them because for a short period of time we made history on the playground or Webster-Garfield Elementary school. The playground lady may have kept us from reaching the ultimate goal of jumping 14 kids or more, but no one can take away the closeness we felt as a team.

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Living Sacrifice

August 15, 2007

¹ I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. ² Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.^[1]

I am confused as to whether the "by" is pointing back to the appeal or forward to the act of presentation. If it is backward to the appeal then it means that Paul is adding emphasis to what is about to come. He is saying “with God and his great mercies as my witness I am (and God is) appealing to you to…” If the "by" is pointing to the act of presentation then he is saying that the act of presentation of our bodies as living sacrifices is somehow tied to the mercies of God. Either it is the power behind our ability to sacrifice or it is the motivating factor that moves us to present our bodies as sacrifice. This needs further pondering. Another thing that stands out to me is that he the plea is for us to present ourselves as living sacrifices. It does not say to sacrifice ourselves. Why?

That one is confusing. I have always thought of it that way. I have always felt like we were to sacrifice ourselves for God and to God. But Paul is saying to present ourselves to God as living sacrifices. I wonder if this is tied to some OT understanding of the sacrifice. Perhaps all the priests ever did was present the sacrifice and it was up to God to accept it. If this is true then the sacrifice was to be perfect without blemish and presented to the priest who prepared for and performed the sacrifice. Maybe that is what is in view here.

My life needs to be free of blemishes so that God is then able to prepare me and perform the actual sacrifice. This is not an act of salvation – that was already done. But, as Paul points out an act of worship.

To the Jews the sacrifice was their worship. All kinds of different fo rms of sacrifice for different things. Wave, wheat, sin, etc. The Atoning sacrifice does not appear to be in view here. We are not to present ourselves as the atoning lamb or the bull or what ever. He does not say that we are to be the wheat or wave offering. Paul does not describe what kind of sacrifice other then that we are living. None of the things that were sacrificed in the OT were living with the exception of Isaac, but I do not think that is what he is saying. He is describing a new thing. Jesus was the atoning sacrifice so there was no longer a need for an annual atoning sacrifice. When we here this great debate about circumcision are we, as my Messianic Jewish friend Hezekiah says, really seeing the debate about the sacrifices.

My friend pointed out that you would think that the Judiazers and the Christians would have argued about the need for continued temple worship that included the sacrifices. The NT is silent on the issue of whether we should sacrifice or not. Why. Hezekiah (my friend not the prophet) says that in truth the debate about circumcision was not about the need to follow the law of Moses but it was about whether Christians, Jewish and Gentile, needed to engage in the Sacrifices that came along with the law. I am not sure if he is right because it seems to me that you cannot separate following the law from the temple sacrifices. They are bound together. If we
no longer need to give a wave offering then we should no longer need to be concerned about the part of the law that was tied to the wave offering.

Yet here is Paul saying, (in one of the few places of the NT that talks about a sacrifice other than the atoning work of the cross) that we are to present ourselves as a living offering. This is a new thing.This is fresh. In Hebrews and one of the letters from Peter we learn that Jesus is our Great High priest. Does he as high priest, then take those offerings that we present to him and do the actual ritual to sacrifice them. Are we putting our very lives into his hands so that he can lay them on the altar before God. Since we are living sacrifices is it our lives that is the sweet aroma rising up into the heavens. Is a life that is not presented as a proper living sacrifice (one full of blemishes) then seen as an unpleasant aroma that God rejects?

This is deep stuff.

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^[1]The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Ro 12:1-2.

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A week of Immersion

Based on a challenge from Bill Hybels at the leadership summit I am going to try to immerse myself into a chapter. Rather than doing it for a full year (something that is insurmountable to me), I will try to do it every day for a week. Bill started with Romans 12. I figure if it was good enough for him it is good enough for me.

August 14, 2007

I read through the passage a couple times. I did not have my journal out so that I was unable to take detailed notes. My recollection is that I was struck by the fact that although it is monumental in topic (the church and spiritual gifts) it begins with a person leading a life that is a living sacrifice. The church is made up of living sacrifices. We are all worthy of death and needed a sacrifice but Jesus did that for us. So we are to remember that with our very life’s. The way we live is to reflect that redemptive act. So if we are doing that then everything about the structure of the church follows.

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Full vs Full

Life is full.

Funny how that can be taken a couple of different ways. As a young man I wanted to live a full life. One that was meaningful. One filled with purpose and high ideals. To some extent I have reached that goal. I have seen some pretty amazing things in my life and I often think my life is very fulfilling.

But when I wrote "Life is full" just now I meant it the other way.

The way that means that my life is so filled up with time consuming things that I feel like I have no time to spare. Some would say that there are no margins in my life. I keep waiting for the margins to suddenly show up and make themselves a part of my life. "Hello! we are the margins you need and we are here to make sure you rest."

But what I am finding is that if I want margins I am the one who hast to impose them. I am the one who has to make sure that I am resting and doing the right things -- the fulfilling things and the restful things so that I am not so filled up with the no non-fulfilling things.

On that note I must stop... It's time for a margin.

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The Train is Gone

As I write, I am sitting on a train bound for Seattle. I haven’t really ever been on a train before.

As a kid, I watched a lot of movies with trains in them. Most of them were westerns and someone always robbed the train. That was usually the only reason ever to have a train in a western. It must have been a really terrifying experience to ride a train in the west in the eighteen hundreds. The chance of someone robbing you at gunpoint was quite high – at least in the movies.

Its funny but this ride is everything I would have expected it to be so far. There is a gentle rolling side to side accented with bumping, thumbing and screeching. But the coolest part is the whistle. There it goes right now. That whistle brings back so many memories of my childhood.

Growing up, I spent most of my weekends in the small town of Manhattan Montana. In the 19^th and early 20^th century, there was a train station in Manhattan. Every day trains would carry passengers, cattle, and produce to and from far off places. In the 60’s and 70’s when I was there, the train station had been boarded up for years and the trains barreled through town as if Manhattan didn’t even exist. The engineer boldly used the train's whistle as a warning to all. Its as if it is making a proclamation.

First from the distance you hear, “The Train is coming!”

Then seconds later the volume increases as the whistle announces, “The Train is here!”

In an instant the tone of the sound changes as it begins to move away, “The train is leaving!”

Finally still, only moments later, in the distance as it moves way the whistle yells back, "The Train is Gone!”
At night I would here the train race through town and dream about the places it was going. In the day I would count the cars. Many trains had 100 cars or more. The signals in town were inadequate – often just a stop sign. I remember many people died because of the trains. I learned a healthy respect for trains.

When I think back on it now, I realize that the train was a symbol of progress. Many of the old folks in town remembered when the train stopped at the station. My grandpa remembers when they had to load up with wood and water for the old steam engines. All the trains that I had seen were huge diesels. Sometime 4 or 5 engines pulled the train and it raced through town. The old people remembered that Manhattan had been an important stop. But by the time I had arrive it was just one of many small towns located on the train line that served no purpose whatsoever to the train. The train that built the town now snubbed it.

The same was true of the highways. The old highway (or old road as we called it) ran through the center of town. There were gas stations, restaurants, a hotel and several bars along the main street that was also the highway. Everything a person needed for their road trip could be found on Main Street. Manhattan in the 50’s and early 60’s looked a lot like Mayberry. My grandpa owned a Gas station that eventually my Uncle Fred owned.

But then I90, the new freeway, came in and it bypassed Manhattan. There was an off ramp into town but cars now could speed right past Manhattan and hardly know it was there. By the late 70s some one built the Travel Shop on the outskirts of town right next to the Freeway and practically on the off ramp into town. It was a new gas station, convenient store, and souvenir shop all rolled into one. So if anyone needed gas or something to eat or even a trinket to bring home to their kids, all they had to do was stop at the travel shop. No one had to come into town anymore. My Uncle Fred turned the gas station into an auto repair shop but eventually even that went out of business. The only business that seemed to grow was the Travel Shop.

Manhattan exists today as a quiet town. There isn’t a whole lot of business. There aren’t a whole lot of people and the residents like it that way. The town was built for the train. The train left and so it adapted itself to the automobile and almost made it. The cars left and everything that Manhattan had to offer was offered at the Travel shop. Now the town exists for itself. “Let the visitors stay to the outskirts. Our bars and our…other bars are for us and we like it that way.”

In some ways the modern church is like Manhattan. The modern church was made to cater to the modern era. During the renaissance they broke away from the medieval church and staked a claim out on the modern frontier. They staked their future on modernity. And they were successful. The church grew more in the modern era than it did in the medieval era. Then in the 19^th century, modernity turned its back on the church. It used all its strengths or reason and logic and said the church is no longer a stop on our train line. Modernity challenged the church. Evolution said, “See there really is no God. Logically we are all monkeys.” Other attacks came and secular society moved at its own pace and left the Church behind.

So the church adjusted. It developed new apologetics; apologetics that appealed to the logic of those who attacked the church. They changed their methods and found new ways to present the gospel. They offered hope and celebration to a modern world that had become hopeless and sterile. And it worked. People came to the church. It was the Mayberry years.

But then the highway moved. Suddenly, TV, movies and eventually the internet came in and redefined how people learn. Logic was good but overrated. Beauty was missing and stopping in Mayberry with its nice sterile logical church didn’t appeal anymore. Spirituality needed to more experiential and passionate. Experience became the rage, truth became relative and the churches logical apologetic began to sound more and more like a clanging bell. The culture was shifting away from the church and the church responded with an attitude of preservation. They wanted to cling to Mayberry. Mayberry was a great place after all.

Someone got wise, went to the outskirts of town, and brought with them all the essentials that the church had to offer. They made it easy for culture to get off the freeway and take a break and see what the church was about. And it worked. But the church hated it. They were jealous because they took all the business away from them. So they accused them of watering down the message. Taking away the blessed modernistic apologetic and fundamentals and encapsulating them in to trite messages of peace with God.

So now what.

If Manhattan had wanted to grow and offer a future to its children it would have moved ¼ of a mile to the east and built attractions and amenities for travelers. They would have gone to the people; found ways to get them to slow down and spend some time in Manhattan. It would have become known as a place for others to come. But even then would it have survived. The church is no longer a train stop and it is no longer Mayberry. Churches that are growing are on the outskirts of town and often ridiculed by the church in town. But everyday hundreds thousands of people pass the church by as they speed along the cultural highway.

I wonder what it would be like to build a church that moved at the speed of the culture. I picture god’s people hitch hiking along the freeway or car pooling with lost people. But although this is a great picture of individual outreach it is not a good picture of what the church is supposed to be. Regardless of what postmodern critics might say there are foundations and principals and even fundamentals that define the Church and community is a big part it. Community is important because it is in community that culture is defined. The freeway culture is moving toward death and the Church’s culture will always be different from the world’s culture.

So if we somehow find a way to travel along and connect with the freeway travelers, we will still need to find ways to connect them to community. So a town is still a good picture but the purpose of the town may be totally different. Rather than Mayberry that existed to preserve our way of life, this new town would have to be a bold community that has a bold mission focused on rescuing people from the freeway culture. It will look more like Star Trek the Next Generation. After all the Enterprise was a traveling city that boldly went where no man had gone before. The Enterprise brought the message of hope and freedom to a much darker galaxy. (I admit this is a really geeky stretch of the analogy.)

What ever we do we need to do it with the heart of God in mind. Close to God’s heart is reaching and rescuing lost people. The same lost people who are speeding down the freeway. I think he would be in favor of anything that pulls them out of a culture that leads to death. That may mean that we have to find new ways to reach the freeway culture. But we must find ways to go beyond Mayberry or the Travel Shop. Mayberry was a beautiful place and the Travel Shop is a great and needed solution for culture today but there are still so many people to reach.

The last time I was in Manhattan, there were tons of cars whisking past the little town. The boarded-up train station is gone. They tore it down a few years back. It was like they wanted to forget the train had ever stopped there. Yet every night at about 10:00, the train screams through town with its whistle boldly proclaiming, “The Train is Gone!”

From Terminator to Archeologist

Yesterday the news told me that Jesus is a fake.

Well not in so many words. They gleefully reported a story about a team of archeologists and movie makers who have done what no one has been able to do for 2000 years. Lead by James Cameron (director of Titanic and of course Terminator films) they have what they call compelling proof that an ossuary found just outside of Jerusalem (in an apartment complex) contains the last remains of Jesus Christ.

Of course, they did not give a lot of details. However, they did show a nice reenactment of the disciples placing Jesus' skull into the box.

I had a hard time not laughing. What makes a box with Jesus’ name on it compelling evidence? The News reporter even admitted that Jesus was a very common name in the first century and that they have found dozens of these bone boxes with the name Jesus on them. The significance of this one is that they found it near other boxes with the names Joseph and Mary. The assumption was that the Mary was not his mother but Magdalene. Of course it was. We all know that Jesus and Mary were married, moved to Italy and had babies — sorry, wrong work of fiction that was the De Vinci Code.

I doubt any real scholar would ever take this find seriously. What Cameron and friends are saying is that after 2000 years they have found what the roman government, the Jewish ruling body and hundreds of skeptics could not produce during the first century (or sense) – the smoking gun. This would be like George Bush getting on TV and announcing that they found a huge cache of WMD's in the middle of Baghdad that for some reason had gone unnoticed. The media would have a field day with that one. They would cry foul play and accuse him of planting the weapons. Everyone would be skeptical and it has only been 4 years since we went looking for the WMD's. (This does not mean that WMD’s can’t still be found but as time goes forward the likelihood of such a discovery to be accepted by the general populace decreases.)

The most ridiculous assumption that this documentary makes is that the disciples were really stupid (not to mention deviously evil). They are saying that either the disciples 1) stole the body or 2) Jesus deceived everyone. Let’s look at these two possibilities.

First let’s say the disciples stole the body from the grave. Once the stole it they had to do something with it, so they moved it. Then for the next year or two they sat around hoping no body found it. Then when the body had decayed they took the bones and put them in a box. Then to make sure no one ever found out about their hoax they PUT JESUS' NAME ON THE BOX and then buried it IN THE FAMILY TOMB. Of course this does not work very well because there is the Mary question. There is no evidence that Jesus was married at the time of his death so how is it that he is buried with his wife and kid. I guess that doesn’t work.

That leaves option 2 Jesus deceived everyone. Jesus faked his death and then allowed everyone to believe he ascended to heaven as the Son of God. After that he married Mary Magdalene, raised a family and stayed in Jerusalem. That would mean that he would have been aware of what was happening to his Disciples and he would have let them die in his name even though he was a fake. What kind of horrific monster was this Jesus anyway. But this doesn’t fit either. If Jesus (who spoke with great love, authority and wisdom – who modeled love and wanted his followers to be known for their love) did such a callous thing as to go off and raise a family while his friends were put to death, then he must have been a madman. That is what does not add up. Jesus clearly was not a madman.

Frankly, the only account that makes sense is the one that was handed down to us. Interestingly the account was never challenged during the 100 years of its writing because people who had witnessed his ascension were still alive. Only after hundreds of years had passed did anyone ever question the validity of the account. If someone walked up to me and told me that Kennedy was never assassinated, that it was all faked and he was living in the Bahamas, I might be tempted to listen because I wasn’t there when it happened. But the minute someone went public with the claims. Eye witnesses would come forward and the story would fall apart. Fast forward 100 years and someone could purpose a similar thing (that Kennedy was not assassinated but lived out his life in Butte Montana) and since there were no living witnesses, it might gain ground.

I am pleased to see that Cameron publicly admits that he believes in historicity of Jesus. But when it comes to this film it falls short of proving anything. If her really wants to provide proof that the bones in this box are the bones of Jesus Christ then it is within his power to do so. All he has to do is fire up that time machine that he used in the Terminator movies then go back in time (naked of course.) Once there, he needs to mug someone for their clothes then find a phone book and look up all the Mary’s in Jerusalem. Once he has a complete list he needs to go door to door saying “Mary Magdalene?” (preferably with a thick Austrian accent) and when he finds Mary Magdalene he needs to draw some blood and bring it back so we can see if she is the one buried in the tomb. But that will only verify that it is Mary Magdalene. So while he is back in the first century he should hunt down Jesus and get an invitation to his wedding to Mary. Maybe he could bring back a marriage certificate or a photo album. Evidence like that might shake the faith of the world.

However, evidence like that is science fiction.

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It has been a while so I guess I should post.

Life is real busy right now. We are going through a lot of changes at the church and my mom is battleing colon cancer and I' m trying to juggle my schedule in such a way that I have time to look for a full time ministry position.

I have decided that I need to simplfy my blogging. I have been approaching it like everything I write here needs to be profound or important. Truth is, that's not what blogging is about. It's supposded to be casual and just a snap shot of my life.

My solution to keep things low key is to remind myself that noone is going to read this stuff anyway. It doesn't matter if I am deep or funny or profound. It doesn't matter if I have good grammer or that I spell everything correctly. In fact I don't even need ot finish thoughts. I could be in the middle of a sentence and simply

Now What?

Crossroads...

I never realized almost five years ago the significance of the changes I was about to go through. Five years ago, I was bracing for a change in ministry. The Church that had hired me to serve an their Youth and Children's Pastor could no longer afford the position and I was being downsized. At the time I mourned the loss mostly because the ministry was so important to me and the students I was serving were so dear to me. It was one of the hardest things I had ever been through but we packed up the office and closed the door on that stage of life. I expected that God would automatically open another door somewhere so that I could once again work with students in what I see as a vital ministry for the Church.

At the time I had not thought that the fact my daughter was entering her senior year in High School would be a big factor. But it was. At the end of the summer I had turned down a couple of positions and been turned down by a couple. It was one thing to move before the school year, but it was another to move during her senior year. My wife and I choose not to move, which meant not to pursue a new ministry until the next summer.

The next summer was a completely different year. For one thing the recession was in full swing and so jobs in churches were fewer. For another, I had been out of ministry for over a year. No one wants to hire someone who has been out of work for that long. My options were few and I was at a crossroads. In some regard I am still there.

It was during this time that I began to look for ways to improve my chances. My wife encouraged me to pursue seminary. At first I thought the idea was impossible. I had no undergrad degree and I did not see getting into seminary as an option. But God opened the doors at Multnomah Seminary. They had provisions for people in my situation. I needed to show significant experience and I needed to prove I was capable of doing the work by taking and passing the GRE (Graduate Records Exam). I had the experience and after several weeks of preparation I passed my GRE with high marks. This began my seminary life. I completed my Master of Arts degree in two years and graduated with honors. During that time also took on the point responsibilities of the Middle School ministry.

A few months after graduation, while in the application process at a couple of churches, I was asked to step into the role of Interim Children's Ministry Director at the church. It was a challenge and I jumped in with both feet. For the the past few months I have been focusing a large portion of my time on helping the Children's ministry become more misssional around the vision of the church. In my spare time I still help coordinate the middle school. It has been a great opportunity and could go in for several more months.

Recently I realized that I am still standing at the crossroads. I went to seminary to become a better student ministry pastor. My heart is to work with High School students. I am capable of doing Children's Ministry with excellence but my heart is not fully engaged. I long for a ministry to students that trains them and empowers them to change their world.

I know that if I pursued the position that I am in, there is a good chance that they would ask me to be the permanent Children's pastor. There is a certain security in that thought. I love kids and I could see myself in the role. But my heart longs for working with older students. But I have no leads or any guarantees that I will ever land a Student Ministry position again. I am fighting against a prejudice that says that Student Ministry pastors should be in their twenties or thirties. I know that someday I may be to old to work with Students but I am not there yet. In truth I am still as excited about students as I have ever been. I still connect with them and I still prefer Student Ministry to anything else.

I have a choice before me. I can pour myself into the ministry at hand or I can pour myself into finding a new position as Student Ministry pastor. My dilemma is frustrating. My solution is to wait. I need to wait upon the Lord. He opened the door where I am. He will sustain me and meet my needs. I am asking Him to provide a ministry to High School students or to provide a heart for the ministry I am in currently. I think I can wait here for him to answer.

He has never let me down before.

How does one Walk in the Light?

I am currently reading through 1st John and my Struggle with the book in the past has been that I read it and then begin to question my salvation. If I am in the light then should I not be perfect? My mind has always combined the idea of walking in the light with not sinning and walking in the dark with sinning. On one level that may be a correct interpretation but if it is the only interpretation than verse 7 and 8 do not fit into the rest of chapter 1.

If we walk in the light there are two truths that go with it:
1. We have fellowship with one another
2. the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

Dose that mean that if we walk in the light the result will be fellowship and cleansing or is fellowship and cleansing what indicates that we are walking in the light

If fellowship and cleansing result from walking in the light then sin is not the only indicator of where (or how) we are walking. Clearly we can walk in the light and have sin in our life, otherwise there would be no sin for the blood of Jesus to wash away and verse 8 would be totally out of place.

If, on the other hand, fellowship and cleaning are what indicates that we are walking in the light then sin is going to be a constant issue that we need to continually, through the fellowship of both believers and with God, lay before Him so that we can be receiving the cleansing as often as it is needed.

But if that is true then it feels like we are living in sin. What is the difference between a man who struggles with alcohol and doesn't receive cleansing and a man who struggles with it and is constantly asking for cleansing. Doesn't this seem like hypocrisy? One day it is down the hatch, the next it is, forgive me lord, the next it is down the hatch.

This is what Strong's says about the Greek word used for walk:

4043. peripatev, per-ee-pat-eh´-o; from 4012 and 3961; to tread all around, i.e. walk at large (espec. as proof of ability); fig. to live, deport oneself, follow (as a companion or votary):— go, be occupied with, walk (about).[1]

The word Votary stands out to me in the definition. Webster's defines votary this way:

vo•ta•ry \vō-te-rē\ 1 archaic : a sworn adherent 2 a : ENTHUSIAST, DEVOTEE b : a devoted admirer 3 a : a devout or zealous worshiper b : a staunch believer or advocate[2]

To Me then, the issue seems to be one of focus. If our life's ambition is focused on ourselves and on our pet sins then we are not focused on God. How can we truly fellowship with believers if we are focused on living like a non-believer. If we are devoted to our selfish lusts then we are not able to connect with the body and therefore connect with God. It is the connection with God that keeps us cleansed and it is our determination and focus on walking in the light the keeps us connected with believers and God. Mixed with all this is the mystery of the Holy Spirit.

Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit if we are allowing the spirit to control us then we are focused in the right way. If we continually ignore the prompting of the spirit then we are focused on our self. I think we all ignore the spirit through out our day otherwise we would never sin. The key is that if we are walking in the light, then at some point in the day we will look back and make an assessment of our walk and through confession and submission to the Spirit we reconnect with the father.

So, it is not a question of whether or not I sin everyday. It is a question of weather or not I am allowing I am allowing the Spirit to direct me back toward the light so I can keep my focus on being in fellowship with God and other believers.

______________________________________
[1]James Strong, The New Strong's Dictionary of Hebrew and Greek Words (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997, c1996), H8674.

[2]Inc Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary., Includes Index., 10th ed. (Springfield, Mass., U.S.A.: Merriam-Webster, 1996, c1993).

Ever Have one of Those Moments?

I will never forget the day. I was about 13 and my sister and I went grocery shopping. She had just gotten her license and it was one of her first solo trips.

After shopping, we went out to the parking lot, loaded the groceries and then got in the car. My sister put the keys in the ignition and they would not turn. She became frustrated and was growing more and more agitated. I knew it was best to keep my mouth shut when she was upset so I tried to ignore her. I simply just looked around trying to avoid looking at her. It was then I realized that we were in the wrong car.

After a furious departure, unloading and reloading of groceries into our car which was nearby, we jumped into our car and burst out laughing. The cars were both FORD LTD's and they looked the same from the outside.

So you might understand why I freaked out yesterday when I finished my shopping, loaded the groceries into my car and got in it to drive away, put the key in the ignition and it would not turn!

I panicked and looked around. For one instant nothing seemed familiar and I knew what I had done. I yanked the keys out of the car and reached for the door and was halfway out when I noticed the steering wheel cover. It was identical to the one in my car. It was the steering wheel cover that my son bought to accessorize the car. It had dragons on it and it was pretty unique. The familiarity of the steering wheel brought everything into focus. This was my car. I had not gotten into some strangers car and when I looked around this time it was all very familiar. I stuck the key in the ignition and it would not turn. So I jiggled the steering wheel until I could get the key to turn.

If I had never gotten into the wrong car when I was 13, I probably would have never thought I had gotten into a strangers car yesterday. What strikes me about the whole thing is that in that brief moment of panic nothing looked right - I did not recognize anything.

Have you ever had one of those moments when nothing seems familiar. Maybe you are writing something and you look a simple word that you have spelled a thousand times and it just doesn't look right. It looks funny and unfamiliar.

The Bible tells us that the Kingdom of God has arrived. That is what Jesus announced and his birth inaugurated. We live in the kingdom when we become a follower of Christ. The world may look like the same old fallen world but we are in a whole new realm. One day, after we die or when Christ returns, the scales will fall from our eyes and the Kingdom will be fully revealed. I think it will look unfamiliar at first but then after we pause a moment look at the familiar face of Jesus, the one who has been with us all our lives, we will relax and recognize the kingdom for what it is - the Glory of the living God.

Why the goofy name?

So why did I choose the name "Some Kind of Zombie" for my web site? Well it comes from Gal. 2;20 and it means that now that I am a Christian, I am dead. Yet I am alive. So in away I am a walking dead man or a zombie. Kind of a goofy name but the concept me being dead and Christ being alive in me is really tough to get a handle on. The more I think about it the harder it is to understand.

Someday I might get it bur for now I'll just obey my master and (to quote Audio Adrenaline) "walk away from the grave."

Decisions. Decisions...

I'm not sure what to do next. I have some fundamental issues with this whole process. First of all, why blog? I mean, is this a journal or a web page. If its a journal then why would I want other people to read it? If its a web page then what possible information can I put on this blog that would be the least bit interesting to anyone.

So do I act like this is a journal and share my thoughts and concerns and struggles (boring) or do I act like this is a web page and try to post interesting things that other people will be interested in (way too much work)?

I guess I'll do a little bit of both just to see where this ends up.

1st Post

I decided to give blogging a try. Not sure how consistant I will be...this may be my last post too. Not much to say at the moment. I got to get home and fire up the BBQ. :)